Archive for the ‘Language’ Category

Brainwashing 101


2010
02.02


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The Best Use of the Comma


2009
08.25

And here I take the liberty of suggesting, that commanders of vessels bound for India, might, to good purpose, carry out an assortment of oriental works, either for circulation or sale, during the outward voyage, among the studious part of passengers, who could thus imbibe, en passant, beneficial instruction.

— By J. B. Gilchrist, in The General East India Guide and Vade Mecum; For the Public Functionary, Government Officer, Private Agent, Trader or Foreign Sojourner, in British India, and the Adjacent Parts of Asia Immediately Connected with the Honorable the East India Company, Being a Digest of the Work of the Late Capt. Williamson, with Many Improvements and Additions; Embracing the Most Valuable Parts of Similar Publications on the Statistics, Literature, Official Duties, and Social Economy of Life and Conduct in that Interesting Quarter of the World (London, 1825)

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The Cathay Onion


2009
07.22

The Onion, America’s finest news source, has been sold to “a syndicate of industrious China-men from the deepest heart of the Orient,” according to T. Herman Zweibel.

Sample of the new fare:

Three Dozen Confirmed *@@## In Power Plant *@@##

*@@## PROVINCE—Emergency *@@## reported to the scene of a most *@@## early @## morning, pulling several *@@## bodies from the ensuing @## that erupted without *@@## or *@@##. The *@@##, believed to have been caused by a *@@##%#@, spilling *@@## among the faulty *@@##, and allowing high-grade *@@## to *@@## for miles, is the third such *@@## *@@## of *@@## in *@@##. “&%^*@@## *@@## devastating aftermath,” stated *@@## Plant Supervisor *@@##, who received orders from *@@## under the *@@## *@@## and must now accept *@@##. “*@@##*@@##.” Citizens should *@@## radiation *@@## sloughing off *@@## on the operating table.

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OED in 12 pages


2009
01.21

The Oxford English Dictionary, 2nd edition

According to the OUP: UK General Catalogue, the fourth version of the Oxford English Dictionary CD-ROM will contain a total of twelve — 12 — pages:

Price: £169.57+VAT (Software)
ISBN-13: 978-0-19-956383-8
Estimated publication date: April 2009
12 pages, NA, 216×138 mm

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The first flight with propeller


2007
09.04

Chicken (sort of)

It is such a thrill to read the travelogues on the Yangonow site. The following gives you a good idea what will happen when you do a word-for-word translation from Japanese to English:

At Yangon airport, checking was rigid. But it was manual. It was ridiculous. The first flight with propeller left from the airport earlier than the time in the schedule. That time was 6:45. But we had already been in the air to 6:30. Most of the seats were occupied by the westerners. Wee! Wee! Wee! The propellers started to wind slowly. When the plane reached the end of the runway, it ran making the sound ‘Gyi, Gyi,’ I had laughed with thrill of pleasure. But the face of my friend looked like a dead one.

http://www.yangonow.com/eng/magazine/essay/kawasaki_m/essay01.html

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